At Your Service
by Dior Crystal
Summary: The first thing that Ulquiorra thought when he saw his uniform for work was that this had better be a joke or a mistake. It was not. Maid!Ulquiorra. AU. GrimmUlqui. Written for the GrimmUlquiFC.


"Ah, welcome back," Szayel, the head butler of the mansion, said. "Kiorra Cifer."

The raven-haired male that he was talking to frowned at this.

"My name is not Kiorra, Mr. Grantz," he said. "It's _Ul_quiorra Cifer."

"Oh, really?" Szayel raised an eyebrow. "My, my. This will not do, then."

"Why?"

Instead of answering his question, the pink-haired man began to tidy the table, setting all of the pieces of paper into one neat stack at the corner. When Szayel did not answer him straightaway, Ulquiorra allowed his attention to wander.

Ulquiorra looked around the room he was in, his expression one of indifference. This was the second time he came here, the first time being last week. The place looked the same as ever. Spotless, tidy, luxurious and elegant.

He had a feeling that should he break any of the items in this mansion, God forbid, he would have to work here for the rest of his life. Ulquiorra did not fancy the thought of working as a butler, but the reason he applied for the job here was because the pay was much better than the other places he had considered applying at. And as a college student who was staying on his own, he really needed the money.

Ulquiorra sighed. He just hoped that his employer was a reasonable man. He had not even met the man yet. Szayel Aporro Grantz had been the one to do the interviewing last week, stating that his boss was much too busy to bother himself with such trivial matters. The only things that Ulquiorra knew about his employer were that his name was Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez and how he looked like due to the number of portraits of the man that he had seen, but nothing else.

"Here is your uniform," Szayel said calmly, bringing Ulquiorra back to reality. He handed Ulquiorra a black and white uniform. "You start work right away."

Ulquiorra unfolded the uniform. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"Yes?" Szayel said, upon seeing the look on the other's face.

"I think you've given me the wrong uniform." He pushed the uniform back towards Szayel. "I can't wear this."

Szayel smirked.

"No, I have not," he said, making Ulquiorra freeze. He pushed the uniform back into the speechless man's arms. "This is your uniform, which is why we'll refer to you as Kiorra." He looked at Ulquiorra from under his glasses. "You see, Master prefers having females work here. The only reason that I'm here is because I do a damned good job at running this place."

Wonderful. His boss was a sexist?

"But that's not possible," Ulquiorra countered, slight panic settling in. "He must have known that I am not a female to begin with."

"Well..." Szayel said sheepishly, scratching his head. "I kind of told him that our best applicant is a person named _Kiorra_ Cifer... I got your name wrong-"

So much for doing a good job running things around this place.

"-and he is now expecting a girl to turn up for work. A maid. He did not even look at your application form, just your picture."

If the man was just going to give him the job based on how he looked like, then what was the point of him filling in the application form in the first place?

"I will not wear this," Ulquiorra said flatly.

"Oh, you will," Szayel said easily. "Especially if you want the job. And Master is _very_ generous with the pay."

Well, he got him there.

Ulquiorra looked down at the uniform, and saw that he still hated it as much as he did the first time he laid eyes on it. It was a French maid's uniform, a very short one, complete with frills. Ulquiorra's eye twitched. Well... He touched rubbed the soft material between his fingers. With such a large pay, he supposed masquerading as a woman would not be too bad... And it was not like anyone else, besides this snooty butler, would know, right?

"Well, Mr- _Ms_. Cifer?" Szayel inquired. "Yes, or no?"

Ulquiorra looked up, locking eyes with amber ones. Szayel did not even need Ulquiorra to answer him. He already knew the answer by the look in emerald eyes.

The pink-haired man grinned widely. "Welcome to the Jaegerjaquez household, Cifer."

* * *

Ulquiorra stood in front the door to the bedroom that belonged to his employer, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez. It was time for him to introduce himself and meet his boss for the very first time. Ulquiorra took a deep breath and knocked on the door, hoping that he would be able to make a good impression.

Giggles came from inside the room. Giggles that sounded like they were made by a woman. Ulquiorra raised an eyebrow.

"Coming!"

The sound of someone stumbling about in the room, making his or her way towards the door.

The door swung open, revealing an extremely pretty blonde woman who only had a blanket wrapped around herself for cover. She looked at Ulquiorra up and down, a sneer making its way to her face.

"I'm sorry, but Mr. Jaegerjaquez is busy at the moment," she said snootily. "Talk to him later." She slammed the door in Ulquiorra's face.

So much for making a good impression.

* * *

"Fuck!" Grimmjow cursed when he accidentally cut his finger. He immediately sucked his finger, scowling. Damn it. Thirty years old and he still could not cut a freaking apple without cutting himself in the process.

And just like luck would have it, he did not remember where he had kept the box of plasters.

"Che," he said when the cut began bleeding again as he searched through the drawers.

"Mr. Jaegerjaquez?"

Grimmjow stopped. Not in a good mood, he looked back at the person who had addressed him and snapped, "What?"

The woman looked at him calmly, her emerald eyes eerily penetrating; at his scowling face, at his tousled hair and then at the red that was dripping out of his finger.

"You're bleeding," she stated.

"Well, no duh. I really did not know that," Grimmjow responded sarcastically. Frowning, he said, "Who the heck are you?"

"I'm Ul- I'm Kiorra Cifer."

Her voice was so soft that Grimmjow had to listen carefully just to hear what she was saying. She did not seem to take any offense by Grimmjow's rude behaviour. She merely looked him over once more before walking over to a cupboard at the other end of the kitchen and opening it. She seemed to be searching for something and when she finally found it, she came back, a box in her hands. It was a first-aid kit. Setting the box on the counter next to Grimmjow, she reached out and held Grimmjow's hand, the hand that had the cut finger.

"Let me help you with that."

"Hn."

Grimmjow complied reluctantly, feeling a bit like a child by doing so. While waiting for the woman to finish tending to his small injury, he studied her. She was undeniably cute with her large green eyes, pale skin, raven hair framing her doll-like face and petite build. Where had he seen her before...

"What did you say your name was again?" Grimmjow said.

She did not answer him right away, choosing to finish bandaging his finger first. Once done, she held his hand for awhile before letting it go.

"Kiorra," she murmured, looking up at him, making him blush slightly. "Kiorra Cifer."

Kiorra... Wait. She was that girl that Szayel was talking about the other day, right? The one that applied to work here. He had been so busy that he had completely forgotten about it. This was his first time seeing her.

"Oh, right," Grimmjow said, smacking his hand against his forehead lightly. "You're the new maid." He grinned playfully. "Hey, you're really sexy."

For some reason, this only caused anger to flash through her eyes. But the moment went by so quickly that Grimmjow was not sure about what he had seen. She closed the first-aid kit and put it back into the cupboard. "I must go now. My shift is over and I need to go home." She curtsied. "Take care, Mr. Jaegerjaquez."

"Yeah, yeah..." Grimmjow said dismissively, slightly disappointed that she made no response to him. "You too. And thanks."

When she left, Grimmjow looked at his now bandaged finger. She was really cute, Grimmjow had to admit that. But her voice was a bit on the rough side for a girl.

* * *

Only three weeks working here and Ulquiorra was _already_ exhausted. He knew that the mansion was huge, but he did not think that it was _this_ huge. He had trouble trying to find his way around the place. And also, a large house only meant one thing; more work. No wonder the staff here were well-paid. Now that Ulquiorra was part of the staff here, he only had two simple rules to follow.

One; always do the duties that are set out to you without complaint and always do them on time.

Two; the staff are meant to be seen, not heard, and are only allowed to speak if spoken to or if it is necessary.

Well, those rules were easy enough to follow. Ulquiorra was always efficient with his work, and he was not really one for chatting, so those rules suited him perfectly fine.

The only problem that he had with this job?

The uniform.

Ulquiorra cursed under his breath as he pulled at the hem of his skirt. Honestly, this thing was way too short. And the fact that he was made to wear heels did not help matters either. They hurt like bloody murder. How women were able to walk in these things, he did not know. And having to act like a woman as well? And having to speak soft enough so as not to give away his voice? This was, without a doubt, the most embarrassing thing he had to do in his entire life. Sure, he knew that his looks were slightly on the feminine side, but for his employer to mistake him for a female entirely? Unbelievable.

Oh, and another problem that he had with this job?

His employer.

For some reason, after going out with that blonde woman, Grimmjow started dating a different woman every single night, and this also, for some reason, irritated Ulquiorra to no end. The fact that the man LOVED teasing him did not make things any better.

_"Hello, Sexy."_

_"Don't tire yourself too much, Beautiful."_

_"You're so adorable when you're irritated."_

_"Kiorra, did you miss me?"_

_"Aww, don't be mad. You should smile more. You have a beautiful smile."_

"Stupid Jaegerjaquez," Ulquiorra muttered, his cheeks pink. "Trash."

Oh, what he would give for the chance to be able to hit the man upside the head. The man would tease and attempt to chat Ulquiorra up every single day without fail, and in turn, Ulquiorra would simply ignore him. It would be inappropriate for him to encourage that sort of behaviour. Grimmjow paid so much attention to him that even the rest of the staff noticed. Ulquiorra did not know what the man was thinking doing things like that. Or if his compliments were even sincere.

"Kiorra." An all too familiar pink-haired head poked through the gap that the door left. "Mr. Jaegerjaquez's friends are getting impatient. Are the desserts ready? You need to serve them."

"In a bit," Ulquiorra informed him. "I'm just putting the toppings right now."

"Excellent."

In the dining room, Grimmjow and his friends were having a round of drinks while waiting for the desserts to arrive. They were especially noisy tonight, what with all of them celebrating the promotion that Grimmjow had just received. He had only invited his close friends tonight; Nnoitra, Yammy and Starrk. So, yes, Grimmjow was in an especially good mood today. He could nearly always be found buried under paperwork, so it was good to know that his hard work paid off. Nnoitra nudged Grimmjow in the arm, a playful grin on his face.

"How's that woman that you dated... That blonde one?"

Grimmjow looked at him out of the corner of his eye lazily. "Broke up with her."

Nnoitra blinked, surprised. "Ehh? Why?"

"Because," Grimmjow said. "I found out she has been stealing money from my wallet. Che."

"Ahh." He nodded in understanding. Having Grimmjow break up with a woman for that reason was not very surprising; it had already happened a few times before. One of the few set backs his wealth brought to him. In an attempt to change the topic, Nnoitra said, "Yo, Grimmjow, I heard that you got a new maid." He smirked. "Is she hot?"

Starrk yawned. "Don't you think about anything else besides that?" he said tiredly. "Women are so tiresome."

Grimmjow looked at Nnoitra over the brim of the glass of beer that he was drinking, the look on his face smug. And as if on cue, the door to the kitchen opened, revealing a petite, raven-haired female emerging from the kitchen, carrying a tray laden with desserts. "Why don't you see for yourself?"

"Here are your desserts, sir," the girl murmured when she appeared by Grimmjow's side. With a sense of pride, he could see Nnoitra looking at her lustfully. Even Starrk sat up upon seeing her. And Yammy actually stopped eating from the bowl of nuts, just to ogle at her. She set each bowl of dessert on the table. "Please enjoy them."

"I'm sure we will, Kiorra," Grimmjow drawled.

A slight flash of annoyance appeared in emerald eyes at the mention of her name, but Kiorra quickly smoothed it over with a sweet smile. Seeing that smile made Grimmjow's heart beat a little faster.

"I am glad." She curtsied before leaving the dining room.

"Well, damn," Nnoitra said in wonder as soon as she was out of earshot. He grinned at Grimmjow. "You lucky bastard. She's a bit on the flat side, but how the hell did you land such a hot one?"

Grimmjow shrugged. "She's just good."

"Damnnn..." Nnoitra said. "I wouldn't mind tapping that ass."

Grimmjow only laughed before downing another glass of beer and then slamming it onto the table. "In your dreams, Jiruga. In your dreams." He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "There is no way I'm letting you lay a hand on her."

* * *

_Kiorra... _

Grimmjow placed his chin on the palm of his hand, sapphire eyes following a certain raven-haired maid's movements. Kiorra, who was either completely oblivious to his attention or just plain ignoring him like she always did, continued to do her work without sparing him a glance.

Grimmjow sighed.

This was the first time he had met a woman who did not seem to care for him. Kiorra hardly spoke to him unless necessary. And when she did, her words were detached, without a care and he somehow got the feeling that she was annoyed with him about something. And yet there were times when he thought she did care. He had tried nearly everything to get her attention, but it was no go. She did not make any response to his advances.

And he did not dare do anything more than flirting lest he get slapped for sexual harrassment.

"Mr. Jaegerjaquez, you have received a visit from Mr. Zommari," Szayel said. "He is waiting for you in the living room."

"Eh?" Grimmjow said, distracted.

Noticing that Grimmjow seemed to be looking at something else, amber eyes followed the direction that sapphire eyes were looking at, and saw Ulquiorra Cifer dusting the furniture.

Ah.

Nonetheless, Szayel had to pull his master to attention. He cleared his throat. "Mr. Zommari, sir. He is waiting for you in the living room. He wishes to see you about a contract."

Grimmjow started, finally pulled back to reality. "Oh, right." He smacked himself lightly on the head. "I have to see him about some business. Thanks."

Szayel watched the teal-haired man walk out of the room briskly, his expression not changing. He shook his head slightly. He knew what the look on Grimmjow's face meant when he was gazing at Ulquiorra all too well. He sighed. He had not seen that look in a long time. He just hoped that Grimmjow would not find out that Ulquiorra really was a man or he was screwed.

* * *

Grimmjow groaned when light hit his closed eyelids. He shifted under the comforter, not wanting to wake up just yet. The bed just felt so good right now...

A sigh could be heard. A warm hand soon followed, settling itself on Grimmjow's shoulder. The person shook him lightly, trying to stir him from his sleep.

"Mr. Jaegerjaquez," said a soft voice. "Wake up. Your nap is over. It's time for you to go to that party."

"Nnn... Just a little while more..." Grimmjow whined, pulling the comforter over his head.

Ulquiorra sighed, feeling slightly irritated. Really, now. How long could Grimmjow sleep? His master was such a child. Ulquiorra pulled the comforter down and was about to shake Grimmjow again when he stopped, suddenly seeing for the first time how tired his employer looked. He worked here for a few months now, and he knew how hard Grimmjow worked. And also how hard he played. It was not unusual to see Grimmjow go out clubbing or drinking right after he finished work, only to come back home pissed drunk. He said that it was his way of unwinding.

The raven-haired man studied his employer silently, taking in the other man's features. He looked just like how he looked in the portraits Ulquiorra had seen of him when he first came here, if not even better. Sapphire eyes, unruly hair that was a curious shade of blue and tan skin; some of the attributes that made up of his employer, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez. Even he had to admit that Grimmjow was rather attractive.

Ulquiorra sat down on the bed and pushed back teal hair from Grimmjow's forehead. "Are you really that tired?" he asked gently.

Grimmjow cracked an eye open lazily. "Yeah..." He yawned. "But a promise is a promise. I'll go."

"Good." Ulquiorra offered him a smile. He stood up, straightening out his uniform before making his way towards the door. "Now that you're up, I must get going."

"Ah, Kiorra."

Ulquiorra looked over his shoulder and raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"

"Help me put on my tie."

"What?"

"My tie," Grimmjow repeated. "I don't know how to wear it."

Ulquiorra looked at him incredulously. Was he serious?

"Che. Don't look at me like that. Wait for me to change first. Stay there."

"But-"

Grimmjow gave Ulquiorra a look. "What are you, shy?" He rolled his eyes. "I ain't gonna do anything."

So Ulquiorra had no other choice than to stand there and watch as Grimmjow walked towards his closet, and selected a nice, striped shirt. When Grimmjow began to pull off his shirt, Ulquiorra pretended to look at the floor, pink beginning to colour his cheeks.

"I'm done," Grimmjow said after a few minutes.

Ulquiorra closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to relax his nerves. Relax. This was just his idiot employer. Then, he took confident steps towards Grimmjow and took the tie Grimmjow had chosen from his hand. After he finished tying it, Ulquiorra stood back, admired his work, and then said in the most gentle voice he could muster;

"Enjoy the party."

* * *

Ulquiorra had just finished tidying Grimmjow's room when he heard it;

The sound of someone stumbling in the hall and a loud thud. Ulquiorra stood stock still at the sound, his heart beating fast. What was that? Slowly, he put down the cloth that he had been using to wipe the dressing table, picked up a baseball bat that Grimmjow kept in the corner of his room and walked as silently as he could to where he heard the sound came from. Could it be a burglar? Ulquiorra shoved all thoughts out of his mind as he pushed the door open and poked his head out, looking around him cautiously.

When his gaze landed on a figure that was lying crumpled up on the ground, Ulquiorra walked towards it, the bat at ready. Biting his bottom lip, he was about to bring the bat down when the person suddenly groaned and rolled over, revealing a very familiar face to him. Sapphire eyes opened, and once his vision focused and he saw Ulquiorra equipped with a bat, ready to bring it down on him, he grumbled, "If you work for me, you damned well better not be thinking of hitting me, or I'm going to deduct your salary."

"Mr. Jaegerjaquez!" Ulquiorra said, surprised, dropping the bat onto the ground. "What are you doing here?"

"What do you think? This IS my house," he slurred. Grimmjow groaned, holding his head. "Damn it... I've had too much to drink, can't even see or think properly..."

"Ah! Let me help you." Ulquiorra immediately bent down to throw Grimmjow's arm across his shoulders and lifted him up, his hand on Grimmjow's waist. He then led a drunken Grimmjow towards his room, wrinkling his nose at the strong smell of alcohol emitting from the older man. He had seen Grimmjow drunk before, but never_ this_ drunk. That must have been some party.

Grimmjow squinted at Ulquiorra as the other opened the door to his bedroom. "Is that you, Ki-Kiorra...?" he said.

"Yes," Ulquiorra answered curtly.

"Ha ha... You're strong for a lady... You can even carry me without any problem..."

If Grimmjow was not his boss or pissed drunk, Ulquiorra would have long punched his face in. Hardly any man would have liked being mistaken as a girl. Though he felt insulted, instead of hitting Grimmjow like he felt like doing, Ulquiorra merely grunted.

"Grunting? Tha-that ain't very lady-like, Kiorra." Grimmjow hiccupped.

Ulquiorra ignored that comment and dragged Grimmjow to bed, making the teal-haired man sit on the edge of the bed. He went to the closet, opened it, and then returned with a clean shirt and boxers. He set those to the side. Grimmjow looked up at him blearily, an extremely stupid smile on his face.

"You stink of alcohol," Ulquiorra commented, helping Grimmjow out of his clothes. "I don't understand why you insist on getting drunk when-"

Grimmjow reached out and poked Ulquiorra on the nose softly. "You're cute," he giggled.

Wonderful. Just wonderful.

"Please, sir, behave yourself while I try to do my work," Ulquiorra sighed. He unbuttoned the last button of Grimmjow's shirt then pushed it off of the man's shoulders.

"Undressing me is part of your work?" Grimmjow said, grinning. "You're so naughty... Sexy little minx."

Trying his best not to slap Grimmjow, Ulquiorra continued what he had set out to do. He began to unbuckle Grimmjow's belt, ignoring the drunken man's rambling about how "Kiorra" was the most beautiful woman he had ever set eyes on and the like. If Grimmjow did not shut up soon, Ulquiorra was going to give him a black eye. It was bad enough that he had to put up wearing this atrocious uniform every single time he came for work, he did not have to have the fact that he looked like a girl constantly shoved in his face. Ulquiorra was about to pull Grimmjow's pants down when the teal-haired man suddenly touched his hand.

"Kiorra..." he said, his voice husky, placing one hand on Ulquiorra's waist and the other on the side of Ulquiorra's face. He pulled the emerald-eyed man closer to him, surprising the other. "You're really pretty."

"Yes, Mr. Jaegerjaquez, you have already said that many times," Ulquiorra said, trying to keep the irritation out of his voice. "You are drunk, so please let me-"

"But I like you," Grimmjow whined, making a blush blossom across pale cheeks. "Why do you always ignore me? I like you."

Ulquiorra shook his head, though his heart did flutter at Grimmjow's words. These were the words of a drunken man. Nothing more. "I'm sorry, Mr. Jaegerjaquez, but you're drunk. And-"

"I want to kiss you."

Ulquiorra stared at him. "What?"

"I want to kiss you," Grimmjow repeated.

"Uhh..."

"Please...?"

"I'm sorry, sir, but I cannot give you that-"

"But I love you..."

Once again, Ulquiorra's heart fluttered, but he pushed it aside. "Mr. Jaegerjaquez, please listen to me, you are-"

"I want to marry you," Grimmjow slurred.

"That's very nice, sir, but-"

"I want to make you my wife."

...

What?

The small bubble of happiness that he had gained earlier immediately popped the moment the word "wife" slipped past Grimmjow's lips. Emerald eyes glittered at Grimmjow angrily.

"What?" Ulquiorra breathed, his voice dangerous.

"I want to make you my wife," Grimmjow repeated, completely missing the sudden change in Ulquiorra's mood. "As your husband, I'll take care of you, and you can bear my children too."

Ulquiorra's eye twitched.

Children...?

"We'll have lots of babies..."

Babies...?

"Our wedding will be a big one too. Lots of people will come, you'll see..."

Wedding...?

"And you'll be Mrs. Jaegerjaquez. Isn't that nice? Kiorra Jaegerjaquez. It has a nice ring to it."

...!

Mrs. Jaegerjaquez, yet!

Ulquiorra felt insulted.

Where was the bat now when he needed it? He sure could use it right about now to hit Grimmjow's head with it. Still completely clueless, Grimmjow played with the hair at the back of Ulquiorra's neck, a playful smile playing on his lips as he did so.

"Kiorra... Let's play..." he slurred, pulling Ulquiorra even closer until their lips were merely inches apart. With each inch lost between them, Ulquiorra's scowl deepened, his patience already at its limit. "It'll be fun... I promise..."

Ulquiorra clenched his fists, tempted to drive them into Grimmjow's stomach. Drunk or not, was this man really looking forward to death that much? He was about to raise his hand to smack some sense into Grimmjow when an idea suddenly occurred to him. He smirked.

"Okay, then, Mr. Jaegerjaquez. Since you are so insistent..." Ulquiorra purred, placing himself on Grimmjow's lap. He wrapped his arms around Grimmjow's neck. "Let's play."

"Really?"

Ulquiorra nodded. "Yes, really."

Grimmjow grinned, pleased, and finally closed the distance between their lips.

Ulquiorra allowed his eyes to slip close at the feeling of his lips being caressed by another's. It did not take long for that chaste kiss to deepen, with Grimmjow sucking and biting at his lips hungrily until Ulquiorra gave way and opened his mouth, letting Grimmjow's tongue slip in. The raven-haired man could hardly able to suppress a moan when Grimmjow began to suck on his tongue leisurely.

"Ahh... Mr. Jaegerjaquez..." Ulquiorra moaned, when Grimmjow suddenly decided to latch his mouth onto a pale neck. He clutched at the back of Grimmjow's shirt when the older man decided to give an especially hard suck, followed by a bite, nearly breaking skin, no doubt leaving a mark behind. "Ahh...!"

Soon, the area around Ulquiorra's neck and collarbone were littered with red marks, courtesy of Grimmjow. Even the front of his uniform was pulled down slightly to enable Grimmjow easier access.

"Kiorra..." Grimmjow murmured, his cheeks tinted pink from their activities.

"Nn... Mr. Jaegerjaquez..."

"I'd prefer it if you call me Grimmjow, but that's kinda hot too," he said playfully. Grimmjow pushed the material covering Ulquiorra's shoulder then bit down on it. Ulquiorra moaned appreciatively, enjoying the attention that his boss was giving him.

Grimmjow's hands roamed Ulquiorra's body freely, following every curve, feeling how firm his body was. Nothing could ruin this moment. Absolutely nothing. He had the woman that he loved sitting on his lap, she was willing and beautiful and gazing at him through lust-clouded eyes. She was everything he ever wanted in a woman. These were his thoughts as he slid his hand from Ulquiorra's thigh to under his skirt.

"HOLY SH-"

Grimmjow fell backwards onto the bed. He stared at Ulquiorra with wide eyes, suddenly having broken out of his drunken stupor.

"Yes, Mr. Jaegerjaquez?" Ulquiorra smiled at him sweetly.

The older man gaped at him, his mouth opening and closing like a goldfish. "You..." he said.

"Yes?" Another sweet smile.

"You're a..."

"I'm a what, sir?"

"GUY!"

"I beg your pardon?"

"You're a guy!"

Ulquiorra raised an eyebrow, amused. "Why, yes, Mr. Jaegerjaquez, thank you for _finally_ noticing," he said sarcastically.

Grimmjow nearly fainted. "Y-you... you _kissed_ me," he said weakly, unable to believe that he had just kissed a man. And _enjoyed_ it, no less.

"Mmhmm." Ulquiorra hummed. "But to be fair, you were the one who insisted on it so much. And since you are my boss, who am I to deny your wishes?"

He could not believe it. _The_ Kiorra Cifer, the woman he had been admiring for so long was actually a_ man_? Grimmjow had never felt more stupid than he did at that moment. He swallowed. Hard.

"Then... Why didn't you tell me that you're a guy?" Grimmjow demanded. "And is your name really Kiorra?"

Ulquiorra got off of the bed then, and straightened out his uniform leisurely.

"Why don't you ask your perfect butler, Szayel Aporro Grantz, that question?" Ulquiorra said easily. "My name isn't Kiorra. It is Ulquiorra. Ulquiorra Cifer." He nodded at a still shocked Grimmjow. "And this, by the way, is payback for making me wear this uniform for months." He smirked upon seeing the front of Grimmjow's pants. "Have fun with _that_, by the way." He curtsied, smiling at him innocently. "Please call me should you need anything else."

He turned on his heel, leaving Grimmjow behind. Grimmjow stared at Ulquiorra's retreating back, absolutely speechless, unable to believe what he had just discovered. Kiorra... was actually a _man_. A _pretty_ one. He could not believe it. That could not be possible, yet, there was no mistaking that_ thing_ - Grimmjow blushed - that he had felt when he snaked his hand up Ulquiorra's skirt. And what the heck did he mean by call him should Grimmjow need anything else?

As soon as Ulquiorra had left the room, Grimmjow looked down at the painfully obvious bulge at the front of his pants, a sign that he had been left unsatisfied.

He felt like crying.

* * *

**DIOR:** For the GrimmUlquiFC hits. Also companion to Ravefirell's fan art of the GrimmUlquiFC's 10K hits. And kinda a belated GrimmUlqui Day (June 4th) fic? Hm... Feel like this one-shot could become a chaptered fic? Yes, I know. But... I don't have much time nowadays, so this will do orz. I know it's uber condensed. ^^; Reviews are appreciated.


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